You know, I never knew that vampires could get headaches. Well, apparently I can. I blame NaNoWriMo. It ate my brain. BUT AT LEAST I FINISHED MY NOVEL! JOYOUS OCCASION!
Now, some of you may be wondering just what my novel was about, right? Well I'll tell you one thing for sure: it's not about vampires. It's about faeries. And a cancer patient. And slaughtered goats. And a douche bag named Stephen. And an apparently insane kid covered in tattoos with an awesome Irish name. Yeah. My faeries are cooler than your faeries.
Anywho, an update of recent events that have been going on in my afterlife:
~I have discovered that I CAN NOT turn into a bat. Either that, or I've been Doin' It Wrong.
~I have discovered that I CAN fly. It happened when I fell from a perilous height (meaning a stepladder. What? Doesn't matter how high up it is, it's still frickin' scary when you fall.) So I fell, and when it got to the part where I was supposed to hit the ground... I didn't. I still have no real idea how it happened, it just did.
~I finally lined my coffin with velvet. Now when I slam my head against the lid, it doesn't hurt as bloody much.
~I have discovered that mixing a cup of caribou blood with a crushed candy cane tastes really, REALLY good, and is great for getting into the holiday spirit!
~I have also discovered that the easiest way to make a vampire go insane is to force them to listen to autotune rap music. Seriously. Our sensitive ears can't handle the madness.
Now, what else to talk about? What could I possibly type that's interesting enough that you humans will want to read it?
Well, nothing. I'm out.
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