You're weird... you deserve it

I had original planned to do a post on some of the different vampire legends from around the world, but a recent post at the Ultimate Goth Guide (a blog created by a very interesting mortal indeed) caught my attention.

The stories within that post got me thinking: I'm one of the lucky few. The 'weird one' who was never picked on, teased, bullied. Well, not completely. I've had people call me a 'freak' and an 'emo kid' (even though I never found those phrases to be all that insulting). I've had people stomp on my feet, very obviously start whispering about me when I was around, and others make comments about how I'm a witch and I sit in the corner of my bedroom contemplating suicide. While that doesn't exactly sound pleasant, those incidents are nowhere near to comparing to some of the things that happened to other little gothlings (I like to think that the reason I wasn't bullied much as a kid is because other people could somehow sense that I would one day become a ferocious blood-drinking monster, but that's probably not the case...).

It's a sad fact that many people respond to things that they don't like or don't understand with violence, whether it's to a different race, sexuality or unusual hair colour. It makes me sick. I have blue hair and multiple facial piercings; does that mean I deserve to have things thrown at me? I enjoy wearing velvet and corsets; does that mean it's my fault when people harass me? I'm nocturnal and sleep in a coffin; does that make me any less human? (Well, okay. You got me on that one. But you get my point.)

The other sad thing about all of this is that many people think it's the odd person's fault. "They should know by now that if they dress weird they're going to get unwanted attention!" And, you know what? That's true. We do know that our appearances are different and therefore not many people will understand us. And we do know that, again, many people respond in negative ways to things that they don't understand. But you know what else? We shouldn't have to worry about that. Everyone should have the freedom to dress however they want without fear of having their faces beaten in.

If a Muslim woman, who chooses to wear traditional garb, is the victim of a crime, is it her fault for choosing to "look that way"? No, not at all. If a Goth, who chooses to dress in a darker fashion, is a victim of a crime, is it his fault for choosing to "look that way"? No, not at all.

All this talk is really starting to make my blood boil. But you know what would stop it? Putting an end to this prejudice. The elation I feel when I see a 'normal person' standing up for a 'freak' is nothing short of amazing. We really need more of that in the world. We're all people; we all deserve to be treated the same.

Well, that's it for this post. Wow, ranting really makes me thirsty...

FOR THE CHILDREN.

*Stares at title* Wow... I'm creative.

First off, a message to kay-wathesmokelives, the dear little mortal who gave me a coffin-shaped iPhone. Or rather, a picture of a coffin-shaped iPhone, that I must now hunt down! I need one! I need one badly! (Anywho, thanks for that. I won't have to drain your blood now! *totally non-creepy smile*)

Now, onto the rest of this post. The topic? Child vampires. I, myself, am against child vampires. I mean, imagine it: being a two-hundred-year-old savage killing machine trapped in the body of a six-year-old. Nobody would take you seriously; everybody would treat you like a simpleton; you couldn't reach the top shelf at Wal-Mart no matter how hard you tried.

...

Well, maybe you could... it would just look really weird. A little kid climbing up the shelves? Now that's news-worthy.

I was turned when I was sixteen, which means I'm going to be trapped in the body of a sixteen-year-old forever. Which isn't that bad. I'm still fairly young, true, but I'm old enough to be seen as an adult, and I won't have to worry about little old ladies pinching my cheeks and cooing about how adorable I am.

There has been a recent uproar in the Vampire Community after the discovery of a three-month-old vampire. Yes, some sicko turned a three-month-old baby because she was "lonely and always wanted a daughter". However, what she failed to realize is that that poor child is going to be stuck at that age for an eternity. So you can see where the uproar started.

I, myself, am appalled by the very thought of that. The poor kid! What's going to happen to her? Only time will tell...

Most child vampires are the result of adult vampires desperately wanting children. Adorable little vampire children. "Of course," you may say. "Because vampires can't have children! It's perfectly understandable for them to do that!"

No, no it's not. Why? Because vampires can have children.

Well, actually, two vampires can't get together and make a baby for some odd reason, however mommy vampire+daddy human (or vice-versa)= human baby. (Yes, human, for reasons that escape my completely non-scientific in the least mind). It usually goes down like this:

Mommy Vampire and Daddy Human have Human Baby. Daddy Human will usually stay human for a little while to better take care of Human Baby during the day (without succumbing to nocturnal tendencies), and then Mommy Vampire will turn him into Daddy Vampire. They will raise Human Baby, who will grow into Human Child, Human Preteen, etc., all the while learning about their vampire heritage (and they'll probably sleep in a coffin). When Human Baby finally becomes Human Adult (usually between the ages of 19-25), they will be turned (by Vampire Parents, or another close vampire) UNLESS they want to make a baby with another vampire. They'll stay human for that. And the cycle will continue again...

Adoption's a more common practice, though. Adopt a baby (preferably a really young one who won't be freaked out when they realize that Mommy and Daddy drink blood), raise them to adulthood and then turn them when they're adults! YAY!

So, you see, turning a littlie isn't necessary. At all. It's quite sick, actually. I'm not the only one who thinks that: every other vampire I've spoken with thinks that.

Well, it's been an interesting couple of days. Now I must leave, and ask a few of my fellow undeads a few things about the Battle Of Tannenberg (history class is ace when you have pals who were actually present at the time! HELL YES!)

See you all soon!

Trust me on this one, mortals

If you have plans to become a vampire, lose those extra ten pounds first. You'll thank me for this.

Okay, okay, that's probably a little confusing. I'm sure you're all thinking, "Wait a minute, aren't vampires pretty? Why do I care if I have a few extra pounds to lose? As soon as I join the underworld I'll be perfectly BEAUTIFUL!"

No, no you won't.

Did you know that if a vampire with long hair gets it cut short, their hair will grow back to it's original length the next night? Yes, even if a vampire shaves his head, the very next night his hair will be back to what it was before, which is why a lot of vampires like wearing wigs to give them more variety. (I mean really, if you think having the same hairstyle since the 1980's is bad, imagine having the same since the 1580's.)

So if a vampire's hair grows back overday, guess what happens to their weight?

Yep. Even if they lose the weight, it'll come right back. Which sucks major blood. So before you decide to get bitten, eat a salad. Or two. Or ten. And do some sit ups.

You won't regret it.

Now, time for a rant:

If I'm fast asleep at 3:00 in the afternoon, DO NOT wake me up. I need my rest! I need it like I need blood. I do not need you coming in and pushing the lid of my coffin off, Luna. I don't need you jumping in and licking my face and acting so cheerful. Luna, you are a bitch.

Please note that I am talking about my dog. Yeah, she has a thing for jumping in my coffin. Not appreciated. Not appreciated at all. Which makes her a bitch in more ways than one.