Sweet dreams are made of this

A few weeks ago I went with a friend to see the movie Suckerpunch, and was completely blown away. It was really good; much better than I had been expecting. Thus, I have decided to post a review (isn't that something most bloggers do? Review a bunch of things. Hmmm...) (Image source: google images).

The movie starts out with a rather sad scene, in which the protagonist Babydoll and her young sister discover that their mother has just died. The deceased woman in question leaves her inheritance to her daughters, much to her husband (and the girl stepfather's) rage. He lashes out and in a series of unfortunate events while trying to protect her little sister Babydoll winds up in a mental institution.

Of course, it isn't your average whacky shack; it actually seems to double as a brothel, for some odd reason, which seems quite disgusting, but all of the girls seem to have a really close-knit bond and try to help each other get through the hard times. Babydoll becomes close to a few of the girls: Rocket, Blondie (who has dark hair, I might add), Amber and Rocket's older sister Sweet Pea. Shortly upon arriving Babydoll also discovers that she is scheduled for a lobotomy in only a few days, and plans to escape before then.

One day young Babydoll is asked to dance to some rather provocative-sounding music. As she does so she retreats to a fantasy world within her mind. There she meets a strange man who tells her she must find five things in order to find freedom: a map, a key, fire, a knife and some secret item that only she can supply. She then has to fight a group of monsters (yay action scene!).

Back in the real world Babydoll tells the others about her plan and they agree to help her get the items. Each time they plan to get one Babydoll provides a distraction by dancing, and each time she dances she is transported to the fantasy world which loosely reflects the real one. Throw in some German corpses kept 'alive' by steam power and clockwork, a vengeful mother dragon, some robots and some pretty insane plot twists, and you have Suckerpunch.

I, personally, loved the movie. It was unlike anything I'd seen in a long time. I've heard other people say it's too 'confusing' or it seems like some stupid movie only 14-year-old anime fans would like because it features a girl in a skimpy schoolgirl outfit wielding a katana. I, however, beg to differ. The feel of the movie is what got me, a world in the past that is mixed with elements of the future. Not really Steampunk (though a little to some degree), it also brings in sci-fi, fantasy, burlesque and Gothy elements and places them into a nice little package that doesn't seem like a bunch of random crap thrown together blindly in order to seem cool. That, and the soundtrack is pretty neat too.

In other news, there's another movie coming out next month that I must see called Priest. A post-apocalyptic vampire story? Yes, please.

April 20th, 1912

While most of the inferior beings are today celebrating four-twenty or whatever it is, I (and several other vampires like me) are celebrating (or, in some cases, mourning) the death of Bram Stoker.






Jus' sayin'.

Well... that was a surprise.

Again with my ultra-creative titles!

Mortals, I have been nominated for a Versatile Blogger Award... strange considering I don't think I'm very versatile. I rant about crap. But then again, who am I to judge? I was nominated by a very lovely miss. Here, have a link to her blog!: http://p2pthedailylife.wordpress.com/ Thank you very much for nominating me! And recognizing my warped sense of humour! (Truly, I am flattered!) Now, onto the rules of this award:

1. Thank and link the person who nominated you. Which I have done. Quite fabulously.

2. Share seven random facts about yourself.

3. Pass the award onto fifteen "blogging buddies". (Hmm. That's a... cute word. Wait... fifteen? How am I supposed to get fifteen??)

4. Contact said "buddies" (...) and congratulate them. Again, Hmm....

Okay, so... seven random facts.

1. I am a vampire. (I know I know. Not very 'random' or surprising... but hey. It's a fact).

2. I can't remember what my natural hair colour is. I think it's a light brownish blonde... or something. I don't know. It's black-blue-green right now, that's all I can say.

3. I think type O blood is the nastiest stuff on earth. Seriously. It sucks, and not in an awesome vampire-type way.

4. If I didn't have to go to school and could focus all my efforts on doing things that are really important to me... well... I'd be an airship pirate by now.

5. My biggest guilty pleasure would have to be those cheesy supernatural romance YA novels. Why? 'Cause they make me feel smart? No... that's not it... because they are all amazingly well-written and have incredibly deep plots and well-rounded characters? Ha, fat chance.... Guess it's a mystery...

6. I have a t-shirt that says I ♥ VAMPIRES on it. And I wear it proudly. Damn proudly.

7. I'm really on a mini tophat/parasol/bustle kick lately... and I don't really know why.

Now, for my fifteen blogs.... oh, who am I kidding? I don't know fifteen blogs. I don't read that many. This is going to be a challenge...

The Ultimate Goth Guide

A lovely and very informative guide to... something... I think it starts with a 'g'...

http://ultimategothguide.blogspot.com/

Club For Change

A club at my school that I am a part of. We talk about our 'missions' for the club and whatnot. Hopefully it'll get more active...

http://clubforchange.blogspot.com/

The General Specific

Or whatever..... A mortal friend's tumblr, full of interesting thingy-ma-bobs.

http://my-name-is-strange.tumblr.com/post/4700038641/biostar-cristian-blanxer

Hmm... three. I guess that's a start. I'll probably be updating this as time goes on and I find more blog-type-thingies. Until next time!

Changes and Friends

New blog layout! ('Tis fabulous, no? {Or would that be fang-ulous? I dunno...}) As well, my name has been changed. I am now Lucidia LeFang. Why, you are now asking yourself, did I change my name? The answer is quite simple, actually.

I've been hanging out with a lot of other fledgling fangs lately (they're all under 50 years old, which means they don't treat me like dung beneath their pointy-toed boots). (Yes, I hang with other vampires. I'll talk more about them later). Anyway, their names are Crowler, Rasputin, Alora and Brutus. Hardcore, I know. Those are their birth names, bytheway (I know right? I am TOTALLY jealous. But more on that later as well...) So we were talking, and they decided I needed a new name. One as flamboyant and boisterous and dark and mysterious as my vampire self.

Thus, Lucidia LeFang. I think it suits me well, don't you? Yes, yes you do. Or else.

Now, onto the information regarding my newfound vampiric pals. It all started one night while I was out flying. I'm not to good at flying yet, so I've been heading out on every clear night to practice. Unfortunately, that night I had accidentally run into a stray storm cloud, which messed around with my vision and sense of direction. And then I ran into Brutus.

It was a head-on collision, and we both hit the ground. Of course, since we're both immortal, we weren't hurt. But that didn't stop him from yelling at me, which was quite scary.

Let me tell you something: I'm a blood-drinking creature of the night. Do you think a lot of things scare me? No, not at all. But Brutus did. He's a good six-foot-four, with black eyes and the sharpest fangs I've ever seen. He has no hair (shaves his head) and was wearing a very matrix-style trench coat at the time. Anyway, he was yelling at me and making an un-Godly racket, but then he stopped. He smiled suddenly and said: "Oh, you're a vampire, too! My bad!"

Well no shit sherlock. I was just flying 'cause I'm a duck. (If it looks like a duck, and sounds like a duck, then it's obviously a vampire).

So anyway, he introduced himself. When I told him my name, he snorted and had to hold back a giggle or something, the ass. He then informed me that my name "wasn't very vampire" and proceded to mock me. Just like a jerk would. (As you can plainly tell, I don't like Brutus very much.) But since he was the first young vampire I'd ever met I decided to hang out with him. We flew around and he taught me the coolest tricks on how to avoid clouds and hitching rides on airplanes. He also taught me a thing or two about vamp-slang, because (apparently) that exists. We then flew back to his place (he has a very messy coffin, BTW. Worse than mine), which is where I met Alora, his girlfriend and the only girl in their group. And then Crowler and Rasputin showed up, and Brutus announced that I needed a new name.

The End.

I'm super excited that I met them, of course. I can FINALLY use the phrase "spooktacular" and not be stared at like a crazy person. We've hung out several nights, which is awesome to say the least. Now if only I could convince them to get facebook...

FOR THE CHILDREN.

*Stares at title* Wow... I'm creative.

First off, a message to kay-wathesmokelives, the dear little mortal who gave me a coffin-shaped iPhone. Or rather, a picture of a coffin-shaped iPhone, that I must now hunt down! I need one! I need one badly! (Anywho, thanks for that. I won't have to drain your blood now! *totally non-creepy smile*)

Now, onto the rest of this post. The topic? Child vampires. I, myself, am against child vampires. I mean, imagine it: being a two-hundred-year-old savage killing machine trapped in the body of a six-year-old. Nobody would take you seriously; everybody would treat you like a simpleton; you couldn't reach the top shelf at Wal-Mart no matter how hard you tried.

...

Well, maybe you could... it would just look really weird. A little kid climbing up the shelves? Now that's news-worthy.

I was turned when I was sixteen, which means I'm going to be trapped in the body of a sixteen-year-old forever. Which isn't that bad. I'm still fairly young, true, but I'm old enough to be seen as an adult, and I won't have to worry about little old ladies pinching my cheeks and cooing about how adorable I am.

There has been a recent uproar in the Vampire Community after the discovery of a three-month-old vampire. Yes, some sicko turned a three-month-old baby because she was "lonely and always wanted a daughter". However, what she failed to realize is that that poor child is going to be stuck at that age for an eternity. So you can see where the uproar started.

I, myself, am appalled by the very thought of that. The poor kid! What's going to happen to her? Only time will tell...

Most child vampires are the result of adult vampires desperately wanting children. Adorable little vampire children. "Of course," you may say. "Because vampires can't have children! It's perfectly understandable for them to do that!"

No, no it's not. Why? Because vampires can have children.

Well, actually, two vampires can't get together and make a baby for some odd reason, however mommy vampire+daddy human (or vice-versa)= human baby. (Yes, human, for reasons that escape my completely non-scientific in the least mind). It usually goes down like this:

Mommy Vampire and Daddy Human have Human Baby. Daddy Human will usually stay human for a little while to better take care of Human Baby during the day (without succumbing to nocturnal tendencies), and then Mommy Vampire will turn him into Daddy Vampire. They will raise Human Baby, who will grow into Human Child, Human Preteen, etc., all the while learning about their vampire heritage (and they'll probably sleep in a coffin). When Human Baby finally becomes Human Adult (usually between the ages of 19-25), they will be turned (by Vampire Parents, or another close vampire) UNLESS they want to make a baby with another vampire. They'll stay human for that. And the cycle will continue again...

Adoption's a more common practice, though. Adopt a baby (preferably a really young one who won't be freaked out when they realize that Mommy and Daddy drink blood), raise them to adulthood and then turn them when they're adults! YAY!

So, you see, turning a littlie isn't necessary. At all. It's quite sick, actually. I'm not the only one who thinks that: every other vampire I've spoken with thinks that.

Well, it's been an interesting couple of days. Now I must leave, and ask a few of my fellow undeads a few things about the Battle Of Tannenberg (history class is ace when you have pals who were actually present at the time! HELL YES!)

See you all soon!

Of birthdays and turning 1700

As you all know, yesterday was my birthday (and if you didn't know, shame on you!) I had a fang-tabulous day, full of cake and pressies and magical sparkly bats. Unfortunately I had to drag myself out of my coffin at noon in order to get my presents, but ... eh... it was worth it.

HERE! HAVE A LIST OF BIRTHDAY PRESSIES!

• 100 dollars from the parental units for my upcoming trip in May (I'mma be terrorizing the mortals in Calgary. Should be fun!)
• A lace choker with a pendant from one of my mortal friends, Darth Vlad Necromancer of Innocence. The pendant almost looks like a cross, but it isn't which means I can touch it without my skin burning. YAY!
• This magical magic-thingy cassette player type thingy for my car. Maybe now I'll actually drive more, instead of flying everywhere! (Eh... maybe not.)
• A necklace. With a pirate coin pendant! (From Mel, Melvin, Manny, Manfred... you know who you are.)

Wow... short list. I expected people to give me more things. Maybe I should threaten to drink their blood next time. Then they might stake me.... that wouldn't be too much fun.

Anyhoodle, yes, I am now seventeen! 'Cause I'm sweeter than sixteen! (Points for whoever knows where that line is from). Yet it's a bit bitter-sweet. Why? Because vampires are seventeen. REAL VAMPIRES are several hundred years old. They are world-weary and carry a sophisticated air of eras gone by.

In other words, VAMPIRES CAN'T BE TEENAGERS. Every time I tell someone that I am, in fact, an undead creature of the night, and I tell them my age they all come up with the same reaction:

"You can't be a vampire! You're too young!"

Oh, really now? Puh-lease! Everyone has to start somewhere! Dracula... Lestat... Fredward Cullen... they were all teenagers at some point! SO CALM DOWN. I'm a vampire now, and I'll still be one in a thousand years. And when that time comes I'll find you and dance on your grave and laugh and sing, because you're dead and I'm not 'cause I'm a vampire. So hah!

Wow... I'm feeling bitter. Think I'm gonna go snuggle up in my coffin now. Toodles, mortals!

HAPPY MOTHER-BLOOD-SUCKING HEART DAY MORTALS.

Yes, a Valentine's day post. Why? Well, why not?

I'm just kidding. This post will have nothing to do with the chocolates-and-hearts-and-flowers holiday that we all adore. Why? Because I'm single and I'm bitter. That's why.

Just a short post, because I feel like talking. About me, mostly.

Don't you just hate it when you know that something good is going to happen, yet you have to wait for it? It's that feeling that just fills you with immense ungodly rage, right?
Yes, my birthday's coming up soon, but not soon enough for my liking, no sirree-bob! All this waiting is threatening to make me go insane. In fact, I think it has driven me insane! So to pass the time I've been trying to entertain myself by:

• painting my nails (First black, then dark red. Then I ran out of the awesome vampire nail polish and had to steal some from The Little Sister. Yellow nail polish is... interesting. And hurts my eyes something fierce.
• considering making Valentine's cards and giving chocolate to my friends. But then I thought, why would I do that? Why would I waste perfectly good chocolate on them?
• cleaning my coffin (and the rest of my room while I'm at it).
• trying to curl my hair. That didn't work out too well...
• trying (yet again) to turn into a bat. I will have success! ONE OF THESE NIGHTS!

(Ain't my life interesting? Yeah...)

Well, that's about it for this update post. I'm feeling quite thirsty now. Gonna go hunt down someone to drink.

Toodles!